The e-format of BETWEEN THE SPACES will have a featured article, a psychotherapy note, and a spiritual corner. I hope you enjoy it and pass it on to your friends, colleagues, and family members so that they can enjoy it too and sign up for their own copy. This e-letter is not in a blog format but you are invited to always respond and let me know your thoughts, feelings, ideas about what you read. For 2013 there are also a couple of new editions. You will see a Facebook and Twitter ICON at the bottom of the newseltter. Please post it to your individual social sites. Also this year the E-Letter will come out on the the 12 of each Month. .

In Arizona, the 12th of each Month is Buddy Check 12 day. That is a campaign by Channel 12 to encouage everyone (including men) to check their breast for any differences on the 12th day of each month. As a Breast Cancer Survivor I thought I would use this date to help each of you to remember to do your breast Self-Examine.

Hello 2013! Ready or Not, here it comes...

Do you know what you want? Do you know what you don't want? Sometimes our desires are more easily defined by what we DO NOT want. Patti Page was pretty clear about what she did and did not want in her 1952 song, "(How Much is That) Doggie in the Window?" Page died January 1st,after a long and fruitful life, at the age of 85, going from singer to a maple syrup business owner. I would say she was a very creative spirit, and sometime during the 80's recognized that her voice would not continue to support her love for singing and thus decided to do something a bit different. It appears she got out of her box and identity as a singer and became a business owner.

I am using her as an example as I open up the New Year because it seems that she clearly knew what she wanted and did not want in life. I am not inferring that she did not struggle with those decisions to know what she wanted because I have not made very many decisions in my life without some sort of a struggle. But when I know what I want, watch out, because hell or high water will not stop me from moving as close to that goal as possible. When we step into that energy that makes us feel alive, we become energized by passion and interest. We spend our time seeking the necessary information to go after our passion. And we usually get closer to what we want versus what we don't want.

But what about that inertia that keeps us bogged down and uncertain as to what we want? What about the day-to-day drag that keeps us weighed down with ambivalence and mediocrity? That type of dead energy can be very dangerous, like carbon monoxide poisoning that sneaks in and lulls us to sleep and eventually lulls us to our own death. We can't smell carbon monoxide and we can't see it. We can't taste it nor can we hear carbon monoxide. It is a poison that catches us off guard, and we become accepting that life is hard, boring, overwhelming and we fall asleep in the easy chair of our soul, lifeless.

So, that being said, I decided to look up treatment for carbon monoxide poisoning. I was surprised about how radical the treatment is as reported by WEB MD, 2008: The goal of treatment for carbon monoxide poisoning is to remove carbon monoxide from the hemoglobin in your blood and bring the oxygen level in your blood back to normal. Red is emphasized by me the writer.

For the immediate treatment of carbon monoxide poisoning, it is important that you remove yourself from the area where the gas may be present. (TV, Video Games, etc.) Of course, if you are lifeless, someone else with have to carry you out. Have friends or family members been saying to you, "What is wrong with you?" If carbon monoxide poisoning is known or suspected, get out of the building or car where the carbon monoxide is present.

After you are taken to the hospital, you may be given oxygen therapy. The most common type of oxygen therapy, called 100% oxygen therapy, involves breathing oxygen through a tight-fitting mask. If you have severe carbon monoxide poisoning and can't breathe on your own, a breathing machine may be used to help you breathe and to provide extra oxygen. In some cases, a person may receive hyperbaric oxygen therapy. During this treatment, you are put into a full-body chamber that uses oxygen under pressure (hyperbaric chamber) to remove the carbon monoxide faster.

Several factors are considered when treating carbon monoxide poisoning. Tests are done to find out the amount of carbon monoxide in the blood. Infants, small children, older adults, and people with health problems are more severely affected by carbon monoxide in the blood. Treatment usually includes oxygen therapy to treat severe symptoms and to lower carbon monoxide levels in the blood as quickly as possible.

If treatment is timely, most people are able to recover from carbon monoxide poisoning. If it is not treated, severe carbon monoxide poisoning can lead to heart or brain damage,or even death. Has your heart been broken, or do you suffer from what we call in the field "stinking thinking?" Even after treatment, a person who survives a severe case of carbon monoxide poisoning may have permanent memory loss or brain damage. But most people who are critically injured or who die from carbon monoxide poisoning never received treatment. It is especially important to be aware of the warning signs and to seek immediate treatment if carbon monoxide poisoning is suspected. For more information, see the "Symptoms" section of this topic."

So, if you find yourself lifeless and lingering around the TV (especially those reality TV shows of other people's lives), just go ahead and have another hit of "Honey Boo-Boo." If you want to wake up and become a part of your own life, be prepared for a radical change - emotional boot-camp that will take you out of the lounge chair of your soul and catapult you into your own life. It can be done, but as carbon monoxide poisoning points out, it needs radical treatment. Otherwise we continue to suffer from the inertia that poisons our desire for change.

"How much, how much is that doggie in the window? The one with the wiggly tale? I don't want a bunny or kitty! I don't want a parrot that talks! I don't want a bowl of little fishy because I can't take a goldfish for a walk." Clearly, in those lyrics Patti Page knows what she wants and does not want. What is it that you want and don't want for your life? If you are having trouble with this, then it is time to seek out a good therapist and receive some oxygen to help you move on with your life. If you would like to make an appointment with me to sort this out, please send me an email at

Dr. Dilley

E-LETTER: January 12, 2013

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Spiritual Corner:

In the "Life of Pi," Yann Martel says that, "Fear is life's only true opponent, only fear can defeat life." Choosing life means taking a step toward the door of your life.



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Psychotherapy Note:


As I have been contemplating 2013, I was reminded of Carol Pearson's book, "The Hero Within." I was particularly drawn to the archetype of the Seeker. The Seeker is that part of us that will not let us be poisoned to death by emotional carbon monoxide. The Seeker struggles to stay awake and forces us to pursue life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I believe that if our inner Seeker suffers from carbon monoxide poisoning, it can still be revived. But not without radical change. It is impossible to move forward and stay comfortable. I wish that were different. If this newsletter is making you uncomfortable and nudging you toward more in your life, your Seeker is attempting to wake up. Help it out by first dragging it out of the house and doing something meaningful. Then, take the next steps to resuscitate the Seeker, if necessary. More coming on this in the next "Between the Spaces." Don't miss it.


Wednesday Morning Women's Group has space. If you are looking for a cost effective way to get your Psychotherapy needs met in 2013 you might want to check out this group. Call me at 602-564-1919 to obtain more information!